Romantic love . To say that it is an absolute falsehood and a product created by cinema and literature would undoubtedly be a mistake. Sincere love exists, and romanticism is undeniable part of that process of seduction and attraction between two people.
However, within this label they are often locked Ideas that are not quite certain And, even more, are added concepts that can become very toxic, such as the sense of mutual dependence and absolute devotion. Let's talk about it today. We are sure you will find it interesting.
False myths about romantic love
Many of us have a "Romantic ideal" In our mind, that is, a series of ideas about what we expect from a Perfect Match : Understanding, affection, sense of humor, empathy, good communication, respect... Having all these ideals is undoubtedly something healthy, since it helps us define what we really want and what we are not willing to accept or allow.
However, sometimes we get carried away by the image of that romantic love that can do everything, a type of love very"sold"throughout Literature and cinema That inculcates concepts that, at times, can be very dangerous. Here are some very illustrative examples:
1. Love is eternal
When we fall in love with a person we need to think that feeling, that love , It will last forever. We do not mean that this idea is false. Absolutely. What we must be clear is that love is built day by day and moment to moment.
- Never force yourself to think that the relationship you have now must be forever. No one can guarantee us a happiness Eternal, so the best thing is to think of the"here and now". Do you feel good about your partner right now? That's what matters.
- Making commitments is necessary. It helps us to reaffirm the bond with the person we love and offers us security. Now, not all relationships last forever and we must be prepared for it . If we focus our life around that person with absolute devotion, we run the risk of losing our self-esteem. If at any moment our partner fails us, we will see how the world collapses. So take care of yourself too. Have your own personal space, your career, your friends. Enjoy your"world"in union with the"world"of your partner.
2. Love requires total and absolute commitment
Here we have another danger associated with the classic image of"romantic love". The woman is always that figure capable of giving up everything for the loved one, someone who gives everything for nothing for their partner.
- We must remember that healthy love is that Where both parties invest equally in this commitment.
- There is delivery by both parties, but also the integrity and individuality each. There is trust and respect. They are couples who know how to form a team and do not"fully"absorb the identity of the other.
- Never think that love does not ask for anything in return. In a relationship we must expect many things, we want to be offered respect, happiness, and affection . We want to be valued as people and grow in partnership.
3. Jealousy is a sign of love
- Feel jealousy Is normal but, like everything else, there is a limit. I can feel jealous because I have a commitment to my partner and I would not want to see him in someone else's arms. However, I trust him and lead a normal life where we establish agreements and we speak with peace of any restlessness. This would be an example of such healthy jealousy that we can all ever feel.
- However, It is frequent that within the label of"romantic love"the other person is considered as a possession And, therefore, jealousy is all a trigger of situations as toxic as dangerous.
- When your partner forces you to dress in a certain way so that men do not notice you, it is not a sign of love. They are jealousy and it is domination. It's a way to nullify you.
- If your partner becomes obsessed with knowing where you are in each moment and prevents you from having your time and your friends, you are not showing"romantic love". Unlike. You will be living a toxic relationship where every day, unhappiness will surround you with your suffering . So, avoid it.
Romantic love almost always contains very unhealthy dimensions. Remember that authentic love, the healthiest, is one that does not dominate, does not put walls, does not drown you. Live a full life with a partner who knows how to listen and respect you, where you can grow in couples and also individually, enriching each day and every moment. It's much healthier!