We all know that one of the Key factors for falling in love and falling in love Is, without a doubt, to establish a mutual space of intimacy.
Get this Bond of complicity and trust with another person suddenly offers us an emotion Intense, magical and special that can very well promote the appearance of love .
We already know that, at times, the attraction between two people Escapes logic and reason .
However, many studies have been done To find out how this chemistry works , These behaviors and human drives that make us to get together in pairs, developing this strong feeling that can last for months and, why not, a lifetime.
It was in 1996 when The social psychologist Arthur Aron carried out a curious experiment At the laboratory level in his department of Interpersonal Relations at Stony Brook University, New York (United States).
Its purpose was to find out how these variables worked that could To establish a union between two unknown persons , and how Through a series of questions, a strong bond of intimacy was created between them.
In the beginning, the work of Aron He did not try to get two people in love at all . His work was purely academic and carried out as we say In an experimental and laboratory context .
Now, in January of this same year, the magazine" The New York Times Published Again this study by an academic , By Mandy Len Catron.
Your intention? According to her, Through the 36 questions That the teacher Aron established to obtain that bond of intimacy between two people, It was possible to fall in love and fall in love .
She had done it and Noted That it was so. We are sure that this topic is going to interest you, Discover with us how it works This battery of questions.
The 36 questions about personal and emotional intimacy of Arthur Aron
We will begin by clarifying a number of aspects. The questions you will read below Deepen in very intimate and personal subjects. In fact, it is quite possible that Couples Which have already been established, have never come to the forefront of this series of questions.
The 36 questions Are arranged in Three blocks .
To do this test with a stranger we should take it easy And to make the initial series in the first place, so that we ourselves could see how we noticed.
If you perceive discomfort, it is best to leave it, but If you notice that some complicity is created and the atmosphere is comfortable enough As to facilitate dialogue with ease, forward. The experience is worth it.
In addition, In case you already have a partner, it is very interesting to carry out this test. Although It may take us over an hour , Is worth something.
Far from being a simple game, every question "Scrutinize, deepen and light". They will come to light Fears And personal needs, defects and virtues , These sometimes quiet voices that we do not always show so easily before whom we want.
We encourage you to perform these 36 questions with whom you want, Although one does not precisely seek to fall in love And fall in love.
With them, we will be able to undress and undress who we have in front to see him as equal, To reflect, to know and to understand .
Takes note of How should you do it
- Choose a quiet place.
- Say the questions aloud, in turns. Each member of the couple You must give your answer to each question Formulated.
- The two members of the couple should Maintain eye contact at all times.
- There are three sets of questions. We will establish A break at the end of each , And will decide whether to continue or not with the next.
We recommend reading: The 4 fundamental pillars of a couple
Shall we begin?
First set of questions
- If you could choose to Anyone in the world , Who would you rather have as a guest for dinner?
- Would you like to be famous? In what sense?
- Before making a call, Do you try what you're going to say? Why?
- How would it be a perfect day??? for you?
- When was the last time you sang for yourself? And for someone else?
- If you were able to Live to 90 years ... What would you prefer? Have a person's mind or body of 30?
- Do you have any secret hunch of how you think you'll die?
- Name three things you would like to have in common with your partner.
- Why do you thing in your life feel more grateful?
- If you could change anything from the way you were raised, what would it be?
- Take four minutes and explain the story of your life.
- If you could wake up tomorrow having obtained any quality or ability, what would it be?
Second set of questions
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, What would you like to know
- Is there anything you have wanted to do for a long time? Why did not you?
- What is the greatest achievement of your life?
- What do you value most in a friendship?
- What is your most treasured memory?
- What is your most terrible memory?
- If you knew you were going to die suddenly in a year, would you change anything about the way you live? Why?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- What roles does love play and the sadness in your life?
- Explain 5 things you are looking for in a couple.
- Do you have a good relationship with your family? Do you feel that your childhood was happier than that of most people?
- How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
See also: 10 Habits to be happier
THIRD QUARTER SERIES
- Make three true statements like"we". For example:"We are now asking ourselves questions, we are now calm...".
- Complete this sentence:"I would like to have someone to share...".
- If you were to become a close friend of your partner, please share what it would be important for her or him to know.
- Tell the person in front of you what you like about him or her.
- Talk about some embarrassing moment in your life.
- When was the last time you cried in front of someone else? And you alone?
- Tell the person in front of you what you like about them. friends That you have now.
- What, if anything, is it too serious to joke about?
- If you were to die this afternoon without the opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not telling someone? Why have not you told him yet?
- T U house, with everything you own, it burns down. After you have saved the people you love and your pets, You have time to make a last entry, rescue some object and return to safety. It would? Why?
- Of all the people in your family, the death of who would affect you the most? Why?
- Share a personal problem and ask for advice from the person in front of you, to know how he or she would handle it.
In conclusion, this series of papers on human relations and emotions Always interesting. Now, we must never forget that, at times, 36 questions are not enough to fall in love or fall in love.
Because love does not always listen to reasons or explanations. Sometimes a glance is enough or, on the contrary, it takes several years To realize that we love someone. It is undoubtedly an adventure that is always worth experiencing.