Throughout our Vital and affective cycle , People learn to know us a little better. We also get acquainted with our mistakes and those"walls"that we sometimes put ourselves and our partners in to be happy.
Sometimes they are not easy to recognize. Sometimes we act in an unhealthy way and instead of giving appreciation, affection and respect, we offer mistrust and unhappiness. Today, in our space, we make a brief review of those Small mistakes Which mark distances between couples.
1. Love is not just saying"I love you"
I'm sure you've lived it on occasion. Have a relationship and miss a simple"I love you"every day. However, although you may be comforted, do not interpret words as love only; The"acts"also truly demonstrate the affection and love that person professes to us.
- Each person Express your love In one way. There are those who are more expressive, while others, somewhat more withdrawn, show their appreciation in other ways that we must also know how to understand. But not by expressing less,"love less." It also values many other aspects.
- There are men and women who expect signs of affection almost every moment: kisses, hugs, caresses... But we must understand that not everyone has the same needs, and does not mean that"love less."
- Love is also expressed in the gaze, In being when it is needed. In that daily smile, in unconditional support and admiration. It is clear that sometimes we miss our partner is a little more"expressive", to tell us every day that he loves us. But what really matters is that, when he does it, no matter how rarely it happens, we feel in him / her an absolute sincerity.
- Analyze a person in each of his acts , Not just in his words. Words can sometimes fall into the"lie"or may be exaggerated. In other words, it is easier to lie with words than with deeds. Value how they treat you, how they take care of you, respect you... There is true love.
- If you are one of those people who really need that daily expressiveness and perceive that the other person"loves you less than you show", talk to your partner. Express your needs.
2. Love does not mean giving everything for nothing
This is a mistake in which many people fall, so to speak. They think that loving their partner means giving everything, offering everything for the other An unconditional and unlimited mode . But you must be careful:
- We must love with wisdom and balance . I offer myself freely to the other person knowing That we are going to create"a team" . You offer me and I offer you. You enrich me and I enrich you, both in our maturity and individuality, we form a single being where we grow day by day.
- If you give it all for the other person, there will come a day when you feel not only empty, but Also frustrated . You will realize that, without knowing how, you have erected a wall around you where you are surrounded, with no escape.
- Wait for the other person to do things for you too It is not being selfish. After all, being a partner means taking care of each other and bringing happiness to each other.
3. If something bothers me, I shut up and wait for the other person to realize their mistake
People are not fortune tellers. One mistake we often fall into is that when something hurts or bothers us, our partner will realize.
That is why, sometimes, many people, instead of expressing out loud what they worry or annoy, Choose to remain silent and fall into anger . To ignore the other person in order to get their attention and punish them silently.
It is a very immature strategy . If something hurts you, do not stop. And even less act by throwing"invisible darts"to the other person because, in the end, we fall into a vicious circle of anger that will not make sense.
Be assertive. If something is bothering you, express it . If something hurts you, say it out loud . If there is anything you need, ask for it. It is your partner, it is with her that you have to live with. The ideal is to achieve a coexistence where there is dialogue and agreements, not a battlefield.
4. Do not build"all your universe"around your partner
Put in case we started A relationship Being very young. We center our whole world on that person. Which is right, definitely , Is the person chosen and as such, we will build a life with that partner.
But also take into account the following aspects:
- We must continue to grow personally . That means that day by day we must continue learning, experiencing. Do not neglect your studies, your friends, your work.
- A couple relationship is very important. But so are these other spheres of our life, Such as a formation, a social circle, And also that personal space ... All this allows us to enrich ourselves as people. That enrichment offers us self-esteem and more security.
- A person with more self-esteem and security brings more happiness to the couple . It brings maturity. If we focus exclusively on our partner and neglect our professional or personal growth, there will come a time when we feel frustrated and even blame our partner for this unhappiness.
Grow as a person and grow as a couple. That way you will find true happiness, without walls in your life. Worth it.