Often referred to as"overprotective mothers", but in reality, overprotection is usually exercised by any member of the family , Passing by the parents and, of course, by the grandparents. You should know that it is one of the biggest mistakes we can make in our children's education since, far from helping them, what we are doing is putting"barriers"to their personal and emotional growth.
Children need learning opportunities. It may seem like something exaggerated, but we must all fall to know how to get up, if we do not allow them to make their own mistakes, or feel autonomous within their possibilities, There will come a day when they are too afraid of the world to dare to tread on it with courage and maturity.
The risks of overprotection in children's education
Surely you know more about a case with these characteristics. Mothers and fathers who are always aware of every movement of their children , That prevent them from going outside to play, that they do everything for them, that satisfy every one of their desires and whims.
Obviously, as parents, we do not want children Suffer no harm or run any risk. Protecting, within limits, is part of parenting, is a way to create bonds that we will always maintain with our children. Now, everything has limits. Let us now analyze them.
1. Fathers and mothers who become"servants"of their children
Nowadays it is very frequent to see in supermarkets, parks or restaurants, families where children seem to have the reins of the will of their parents. Each desire is satisfied, every demand is fulfilled to keep the child happy and well attended. Believing that, thus, they make their children happy.
- It's a mistake. If we exercise this type of overprotection, in which we offer children everything they ask for thinking that we make them happy, what we actually get is to give them a wrong view of life . Our society has limits and rules, people must strive to achieve our goals, and if children do not understand this from the beginning, they will be frustrated when they discover the truth.
- Children need responsibilities from an early age. If we protect them by making life easy for them, Ordering their toys, making their bed, excusing their faults and their mistakes, we will be actually educating totally immature people incapable of Take responsibility for your life . Do not ever. Set standards, set guidelines to make them understand that at home, as in the society in which they will live tomorrow, they need to be responsible with their own things.
2. Parents and mothers who always fear that something bad happens to their children
- Everything has a limit. As parents, we will see to it that children are not at risk. It is vital and necessary . However, one should not go so far as to exaggerate to want to control each step of our children or to avoid, for example, leaving home.
- Providing them with opportunities and some autonomy is essential for development. emotional of the kids. There will come an age when it is time for them to come and go back to school alone, and when they do, they will feel proud of themselves. When you are a teenager, you are going to want to cross many of the limits you have imposed on them, and this is the time when you have to learn to"negotiate"with them. If they are responsible for their studies and behavior, let them come home later, sleep with their friends... They are small things to learn to move about in life and they will surely make some mistake, but that is good. You will be there to support them, to suggest... If you do not just punish or forbid, they will see you as someone they can trust. If you only put walls, they will flee from you and you will feel insecure.
3. Parents who induce fear and insecurity in their children
- If we simply prohibit them and exercise that overprotection day after day, there will come a day when children develop social fear. You will feel not only as insecure people who do not know how to move around the world, but also think that this is a threat.
- Educating in overprotection is to educate in insecurity, Is to limit the emotional development of children who, tomorrow, will be immature adults.
- If you think overprotection is a way to make life easier for you, you're making a mistake . Children need those Wounds On the knees after a football match, or falling from a swing. Sometimes that fight with other children in the park allows them to learn many things about the personality of their peers. They are small learning opportunities with which to mature. And you, as mother or father, will always be with them, advising them, supporting them, but never cutting their wings. Remember it!