When talking about Mistreatment , We immediately think of that physical or psychic violence that an abuser exercises over his victim. However, there is another kind of"subtle"abuse of which, sometimes, we are not so conscious and, little by little, it ends up destroying us from the inside.
They are covert attacks that we do not usually react to because the aggression is not so direct, or you may not even really seek to do harm. However, being constant, it is Destroying our self-esteem and trust That we have in ourselves. And be careful, because we are not talking only about the subtle mistreatment that our Couples They can inflict us; Sometimes even our own family members can do it.
We teach you how to recognize it and how to defend yourself.
How is the so-called"subtle maltreatment"exercised?
To understand the dimension of subtle mistreatment, we will give you some examples that will be easily recognizable to you. Think of a girl who, from a very young age, Have made him think he is clumsy . Every time something fell out of his hands, his parents caught his attention; When he broke something unintentionally, justified him by his"innate clumsiness."
As she gets older, they apply her supposed clumsiness to those tests that she suspends from time to time, to her inability to have friends... Her parents love her, no doubt, and do not physically mistreat her, of course. However, throughout his life he has been led to believe that it is A person"incapable and clumsy" . A"subtle"maltreatment that has given rise to a great deal of insecurity And low self-esteem.
Let's take another example. We have a couple who often use the irony in their day to day. Frequent in him are those burlesque comments in which he tries to make others laugh, not realizing that he hurts us. He never seems to take things seriously and irons about anything: For what you do, for how you dress, for how you express yourself... These are small things that you may not do with bad intentions. However, they cause you pain And, therefore, it is a type of covert mistreatment.
You must know that this type of behavior is very frequent in our reality and that it costs a lot to react to them. They are Small things that, when they become persistent , They wound us, to the point of being completely defenseless. We must learn to recognize them.
How can I defend myself against"subtle"maltreatment?
- You must be aware that words can be As damaging as a slap. Internal wounds are as painful as a blow.
- No matter how inoffensive the comment is, Or the innocence of that irony that you have dedicated. Do not allow it, put your thoughts out loud by expressing clearly that those words hurt you and should not be repeated.
- Set limits in your life, barriers that others should not cross . If the irony about your person disturbs you, do not allow it; If they say something about you that is not true, defend yourself. If there are people who are always dedicated to throwing small comments of these characteristics, you may have to consider staying away from them. The Toxic people Only cause suffering and, to live with insecurity or unhappiness, it is not worth having them with us.
- The main problem of"subtle mistreatment"is that other people do not see any harm in their words or actions. They do not recognize it. What for them is a joke, for us is a clear offense. If we do not react, if we let it happen one day, yes and another, there will come a day when The level of abuse will be much higher.
- Subtle mistreatment can be exercised by our parents, siblings, partners or even co-workers. People who say they love us and respect us, but you should not be wrong. It is vital that you always defend your own integrity and you self esteem , And that you differ very well what is respect for what is offense. There are people who think that daily trust gives them licenses to joke with us, to mock and even disrespect us. Do not ever let him. Whatever upset you, make it clear. Prevent them from hurting you and, if your reaction is wrong, do not worry either. Whoever does not understand that you have been hurt lacks empathy, and does not have the proper emotional intelligence to establish healthy relationships.