Many couples have problems. They do not find the balance and the happiness . One of the main causes is the clear feeling of losing control. That the other person seeks their own benefit and interest.
We must be careful about this idea, the most important thing in any relationship, is to remember that one must keep the reins of his own life. If you love that relationship, fight for it. If it makes you unhappy, Take control and stay away .
The importance of internal resources in our relationship
We know that in every relationship of couple there are own rules. Those agreements that we have reached over time. It is appropriate to keep in mind that every couple Stable and happy , Usually presents the following dimensions:
- They develop good communication, where the dialogues are open and where both parties listen.
- Discussions come up from time to time, it's normal. But they are resolved by reaching agreements, with mutual respect and understanding.
- There is a balance of forces. That is, I strive in make you happy And you do the same for me We both give up certain aspects, because we win in our union. Being together is the top priority for both, and sometimes the Resignations they happen.
- There is harmony, respect and admiration.
- Personal spaces are respected. The trust Mutual avoidance of jealousy or negative thoughts.
When we talk about Internal resources We refer precisely to these dimensions that build a good relationship: knowing how to understand, know how to respect, value the commitment and have a clear desire to Make the other person happy . Knowing that our partner, feels the same.
There is a balance. We both have our particular control to bring energy and will to the relationship itself. We have a project in which we both offer our being, our love and our maturity.
When we lose control in the relationship
At what point do we lose control over our relationships? The situations can be very varied, but usually, always follow a few basic axes that are worth knowing:
- There are certain relationships where one exercises the Power over the other. There is a domination that implies that we fall into a clear situation of defenselessness. They are Toxic relationships Where a clear manipulation is developed. An absolute control over our actions, unfolding dimensions as well known as jealousy, distrust, resentment...
- When a member of the couple has a low self-esteem , Will develop insecurity And need to control the other. He does it because he is afraid of losing the person he loves. To betray her because she thinks, that the minimum will be abandoned. Insecurity generates mistrust, and distrust anxieties of control.
- We must also bear in mind that there are personalities who are Accustomed to having in control In all spheres of his life. Both personally and work, always seek to master every detail. Have the voice"singer"in every decision. About every person. It is a type of profile also complex when it comes to establishing a healthy relationship.
Who should have control at all times? Just you?
People, we should not lose control over who we are or what we do in no time. Partnering does not mean giving up your identity, who you are or what you feel.
The moment we lose control of our life and give it to someone else, we lose everything. It is not a matter of exerting a set of forces at all. A couple is not a battlefield. Is a Palace of happiness We build between two, where we both have control.
Control is essential to fight for what we want, to fight for that person we love and thus define our own harmony. No matter how old you are, or your social status, we all deserve to be happy at all times, and we all have enough power to get it.
You have control over your own life to fight for your dreams and that person you fell in love with. Now, if you only have tears in your life and you see no future project, never forget that you also have control to get away. To let go and open new paths in your Vital and emotional cycle .